How Living During a Civil War Shaped My Life
I was born where life and the echoes of war existed in unison. El Salvador, a country of breathtaking beauty, where vibrant markets, lush green hills, and majestic volcanoes stand tall, watching over the land like silent guardians. A time when whispers of fear and hope danced through the breeze, shaping the foundation of who I would become.
The Salvadorian civil war, one of the darkest periods of the country’s history, lasted from 1979 to 1992, claiming the lives of more than 75,000 people and displacing thousands more. My family was one of the many who lived through the chaos, uncertainty, and violence.
Learning Resilience from My Family
I had the privilege of being raised by six of the most amazing human beings: my mother, her sister, my great-grandmother, my grandmother, my great-aunt, and my great-uncle; their strength, love, and protection have left an undeniable impact on my life. Each of them poured their heart into raising me, offering care and the values and lessons that have shaped who I am. Growing up, I didn’t have to be taught about real love, hard work, sacrifice, and the importance of family — I witnessed it every day.
My Mother
Her resilience and strength taught me the meaning of sacrifice and perseverance. Her unwavering determination in the face of hardship became the foundation upon which I built my strength. She carried the weight of our family, often putting her needs aside to ensure we had everything we needed. Through her hard work and actions, she modeled what it means to put family first.
My Aunt
My aunt was like a second mother to me. Her warm and fun-loving nature taught me the importance of being present and truly living in the moment.
She had a way of turning distressful days into unforgettable memories, filling my childhood with laughter, joy, and a sense of wonder. She showed me that life’s most precious moments are often the simplest. Her presence was a reminder that even in difficult times, there is always room for joy and connection. Those lessons have stayed with me, inspiring me to embrace life with an open heart and to find beauty in the present.
My Great-Grandmother
She carried generations of strength and grace, instilling in me a deep sense of respect and gratitude for my roots. She was a living testament to resilience, her life a reflection of unwavering faith, sacrifice, and dignity. Through her stories, gentle wisdom, and how she carried herself, she connected me to a rich heritage that taught me the value of perseverance and the importance of honoring my origins. Her presence reminded me I am part of something bigger — a legacy built on love, endurance, and hope. Her strength was not loud but steady, giving me the confidence to face life’s challenges with grace and courage.
My grandmother’s love was the kind that spoke through actions unwavering and sacrificial. She gave endlessly, not because she had to, but because her heart was full of love for her family. I watched her put everyone else’s needs before hers, often going without so that her family could have more. Her sacrifices weren’t always visible. She taught me that words don’t measure true love but the willingness to give yourself to the people who matter most. Her selflessness imprinted on my heart, showing me that love and sacrifice often walk hand in hand. A lesson I carry with me today.
My Great-Aunt
Her love for me was pure, unconditional, and warm, making me feel genuinely cherished. She made me feel special as if I was the most loved person in the world whenever I was around her. She had a quiet strength and a tender heart, and her presence brought comfort and security to my life. Through her love, I learned that sometimes the most incredible gifts come from those who choose to love us deeply, not out of obligation, but simply because their hearts are full. Her unwavering support and affection impacted me, teaching me the beauty of loving with an open heart.
My Uncle
My great-uncle was always there — a steady and protective presence in my life. His quiet strength made me feel safe, even when the world around me felt uncertain. Whether it was watching over me as I played or simply being nearby, his presence was a constant reminder that I was never alone. He didn’t have to say much for me to know that he was looking out for me — his actions spoke louder than words. I knew he would be there if anything ever went wrong, ready to protect and guide me. His quiet dedication taught me that proper protection doesn’t always come with loud declarations but rather through the unwavering consistency of showing up and standing guard. His love and watchful care instilled a deep sense of security that I carry today.
The Sounds of War: Echoes I Couldn’t Ignore
One of the things I remember most vividly are the sounds—the distant echoes of gunfire, the explosions, and the heavy silence that followed. Even though my family tried to shield me from the violence, those sounds became part of the soundtrack of my early life. I didn’t understand why or what people were fighting for, but I understood that those sounds meant danger. Amid the chaos, my family did everything possible to create a sense of normalcy for me. They were my shield, protecting me from as much of the turmoil as possible. I now realize how much strength it took them to stay calm and composed.
In those moments of fear, my aunt became my shield, protecting me with her presence, love, and warmth. I remember how she would gently sit me on the floor, her calm demeanor masking the fear she must have felt inside. She would distract me with toys, games, or little stories, her playful energy keeping my focus away from the chaos outside. Her laughter filled the room, making me feel safe even as the sounds of violence echoed beyond our walls. I didn’t fully realize it then, but she was doing more than just keeping me occupied — she was shielding my heart from the harsh reality that surrounded us.
Those moments taught me that love has the power to create a sense of safety, even amid chaos. To this day, I remember her gentle hands and loving presence, reminding me that there is always room for love and protection in life’s darkest moments.
The Impact of Growing Up Too Soon
Living through a war forced me to grow up faster than most children should. I learned to read between the lines of adult conversations, sensing when things were unsafe, even when no one said it aloud. I learned to adapt to uncertainty, be aware of my surroundings, and always be alert to changes that might signal danger. That heightened awareness became a survival skill that stayed with me long after we left El Salvador. It taught me to be observant, to read people’s emotions, and to always prepare for the unexpected.
The Journey to Safety: Leaving Everything Behind
In 1989, when I was six years old, my parents decided to leave El Salvador and seek safety in Canada. It was a choice that came with immense sacrifice — leaving behind family, friends, and everything familiar in search of a better future. I didn’t understand the magnitude of that decision at the time. All I knew was that we were leaving home and going somewhere new. I remember the long journey and the strange feeling of arriving in a country where everything looked and felt different. Canada was a place of safety, but it was also where we had to start over from scratch.
The Weight of Leaving Home
Even though I was young, I carried the weight of leaving home with me. I missed my grandmother, the warmth of familiar faces, and the sense of belonging that came with being surrounded by people who spoke the same language and understood our struggles. But even in that loss, I learned another valuable lesson — the importance of adaptability. Moving to Canada forced me to adapt to a new culture, language, and way of life. It wasn’t easy, and there were moments when I felt like I didn’t belong. But that experience taught me I could survive and thrive, even when everything around me was unfamiliar.
How Those Early Years Shaped Who I Am Today
Looking back I see how those first six years of my life shaped me into the person I am today. Living through a war taught me resilience, perseverance, and the ability to find strength in difficult circumstances. It gave me a deep empathy for others who feel displaced, lost, or unsure of where life takes them.
It’s part of why I’m passionate about helping women who feel stuck and unsure how to start over. I know what it’s like to face uncertainty and fear. To leave behind what’s familiar, and to step into the unknown. My journey has shown me that starting over is never easy but always possible.
Embracing the Journey of Starting Over
Starting over isn’t just about leaving the past behind, it’s about carrying the lessons with you and using them to build something new. My first six years in El Salvador taught me that strength isn’t about avoiding pain or fear; it’s about facing it head-on and finding a way to move forward. If you’re standing at the edge of a new beginning, know you are not alone. The path may feel uncertain, but every step you take is proof of your resilience. Like I did, you can embrace change, find your strength, and create the life you deserve.
Using My Story to Inspire Others
Today, as the founder of Core Starting Point, I use my experiences to guide and empower
women ready to rebuild their lives. I know what it feels like to be at a crossroads, wondering if you have the strength to move forward. But I also know that within us is the resilience to rise, adapt, and create a purposeful life.
If you feel ready to Start your new journey, contact me or follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.
My story is a reminder that no matter where you come from or what you’ve been through, you have the power to shape your future. Life may not always go as planned, but sometimes, the most difficult moments lead us to the greatest growth.
